Truth is a missing piece from the puzzle of life.

We all keep searching for it through various means consciously and subconsciously it is always enfolding in front of us as our circumstances and opportunities.. Astrology , reading scriptures, following our religious practices , social codes of conducts and we find every one has some guidance to offer but not the every thing .Consciously I had never expected to have any possibility of the truth my life would be revealing but subconsciously ,there were guidelines ,the blue print ,. The circumstances of my life , the slight hints from my attitude which I can comprehend and acknowledge and elaborate.
When did my awakening start? Consciously I date back it to the time when I was initiated in to Reiki and my energy got channellinsed towards the real purpose of my life.
Subconsciously did it start when I was conceived in the womb? Because my parents say that the soul demands and creates circumstances it desire, that is why we were inspired to read Ramayana at that time , when we were expecting you. O did it start long long ago in many of my past lives ?

At the age of eight, nine years I was interested in reading stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata during winter break. Because this was the only source of entertainment at that time in that remote place in the hills of Simla. Stories as such use to fascinate me.
One god gifted fortune reader in our locality had just announced in my subsequent visits to him, few good things, which may have happened and many may not have turned out to be true, but few readings I still remember were some way subconsciously working in my mind. I will marry a person living very far away from my place and that too he will be a soldier. At the age of thirty three I will become a ‘sanyasi’ which means renounce the world. I had argued with him that means I will not get married, if I will renounce the world so young. He had explained in whatever easy language, he could,’ no, you will not renounce the world as understood by the word sanyasi but live in the family, a life of a sanyasi.’ I did not understand and give it much thought to this complicated interpretation. Yes, at about that age onwards I started searching some meaning to this life. But I did not know where to search. I started reading a page or two as a ritual from Bhagvad Gita. After my marriage, my mother in law’s rituals of idol worshipping inspired me to adopt it to try if there is some truth in it. But not strictly as she did, but to my convenience and understanding so that I can get some pleasure and satisfaction, thinking that I am doing some thing from my side to please or attract God.A stage came in 1997 when for few days I was dominated by the thought that there is nothing more to life after death. Once the tree dries and dies, there is nothing left of it, it is all over. The fruits, the seeds, brings out another tree in to existence but that one is no where. Same is with the life. Once a person is dead, he is finished, now all remains of him are his off springs entirely new beings and they are not what he was. No body was available nor could have convinced me, it was sort of self dialogue and I had to find an answer myself. I did not have full faith in any rituals, nor having any particular Guru’s philosophy to follow in my life